“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”
~Ecclesiastes 3:1
Uso pa ba ng harana? Marahil ikaw ay nagtataka… (Is serenading a woman is still in? Maybe you are thinking…), says a song lyrics. But to our generation, is serenading and courting still a mainstream? Before we answer that, maybe we should clarify first what is courtship. Maybe for some it may ring a bell, but for others it may be already a foreign word.
To this generation of millennial's and gen Z’s, courtship (panliligaw) may be as simple as sending messages of “I love you”, “How are you?”, “I miss you”, “Have you eaten lunch/dinner?” or even an emoticon of “<3” and the list may go on and so on (Or it could even be more advance and digital). These messages send a language of care and affection to a lonely and longing heart. And if they like each other or if the girl fall to the boy’s trap, that’s it. They are already a couple.
But the courtship I am talking about is fairly better than that! The 70’s, 80’s and 90’s kids would agree with me with this. In the Philippines, courtship entails not just the man and the woman. Their parents and friends are involve in the process. If a young lad really likes a fair lady, and he wants her to be his ini-irog (his love/darling), he have to show his pure intension to her. He may start by asking the help of his friends to prepare a song in the manner of harana, and together, go to the lady’s house by evening. With the strike in the string of the guitar, and his friends at the back, the lad may start whispering a song of love to his Mona Lisa.
“You’re my Mona Lisa,
You're my rainbow sky…
And my only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes…”
And if the lovely lady accepted the hopeful lad’s gestures of love, then the next stage of courtship is on. He has to prove his intention to her family and friends. The lad have to (during the earlier times) fetch water from a faraway well for the family’s bath, laundry and other household chores. He has to cut wood also for the family’s lunch and dinner. He has to learn to befriend the lady’s fathers and brothers to have their approval and to answer every inquisition of her mother, sisters and friends to have more ally for the lady’s heart. Because, in the end, it is still the fair lady’s decision to accept him or not.
Poor guys, not all reciprocate their efforts, some ended just to hear the answer of “no”, “sorry” or let’s just be “friends”. While some guys would not dare to finish the process because of the burden. This only proves that they are not yet ready or they have a wrong intention for claiming for the girl’s heart. But how wonderful it is for those who have won the heart of their ini-iirog. So their love story as a couple begun and who knows if they decide soon to get married then pamamanhikan is next and that is another story. But then again for now, let us focus on courtship.
So what is courtship?
Courtship is the preparation for marriage.
Marriage is building a family which is the foundation of our society. God has a wonderful plan for families. And it started with a couple. But to find a couple who are willing to share their lives for this cause is a miracle.
“For I know the plans, I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
It is in the heart of God to give us the best. It was not in His plan to write us a broken love story. In the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, He placed the man to be the steward of all His creation. Upon the faithful labor of man, He noticed that it was not good for the man to be alone. So He, GOD, created a suitable partner for the man. It is clear that it was God who sees the need for the man to have a woman by his side (see Genesis 1 and 2).
God is not a kill joy! He, Himself gave us the very joy we need in our lives. He knows who would be the perfect fit for us. He has made someone especially for you.* So you don’t have to collect and select…you don’t have to try and cry…you don’t have to tie yourself to a relationship that is not healthy and working…you don’t have to hold on to broken promises and lies!!! But we have to know His will and His purpose in our lives for us to enjoy the blessing of having a lifetime partner. These would guarantee us not to have a broken love story, an aching heart and grieving spirit towards our relationships.
We must also understand that God does not sees as man sees. He searches even the thoughts and intents of our hearts. He knows us better. He cannot be deceive. He is not controlled by the outburst of emotions. HE IS GOD WHO UNDERSTANDS OUR LONGING FOR LOVE. FOR GOD IS LOVE. HE IS LOVE.
So guys, before you pursue a woman, follow first God’s will for your life.
And gals, before you say “yes” to a man, say “yes” first to the calling of God.
But how can you do that if you don’t commune to the very Author of your life and love story?
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
~John 1:1
Yes we pray. We pray a lot. I prayed. I even fasted. But I didn’t wait for the answer. His answer. And worst, I neglected His answer because I were so persuaded by the idea of love. And it cost me a lot. I ended up broken and no hope for the future. My world literally ended in 2012. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. We have to know His Word. Then we could know what is His will and purpose in our lives. Only then, we could respond to His call for us.
“v1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
v2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
v3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
v4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
v5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
v6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
v7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
v8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
Chapter 3 of the book of Ecclesiastes tells us the seasons of life. Some, describe is as these: the season to be born, the season to play, the season to study, the season to work and the season to get married and build a family. So in whatever season you are right now, it is the best season of your life. You don’t have to be in the season of getting married to have the best season of your life. That could be the season of studying or the season of working. That is the best season. YOU ARE IN THE BEST SEASON OF YOUR LIFE. So don’t rush things. Go through with your season, enjoy it. Make the best out of it. Prepare yourself for your calling. It is already in God’s plan that you will have a partner. So you don’t have to worry for it. But if you neglect your call, your purpose, then you will be missing out the real thing in your life. That is for you to fulfill.
Most people failed to see this in their season of life. That they should prepare themselves in pursuing God’s purpose. They thought that they should only prepare when they are already there or atleast near there. Just like in waiting for a lifetime partner. But that is a long time of wasting if we just sit back and relax and wait until God has unfold everything for us to pursue His call for us. We often look at the destination and miss out the beauty of our journey. And our waiting could be that journey. Waiting is a beautiful process of discovering ourselves where we could worship God and serve Him faithfully. Waiting for God’s revelation of your lifetime partner is a beautiful process of using your gifts and talents for the furtherance of the kingdom of God through sharing the gospel and by making disciples for His glory.
Waiting is not boring. We only need to commit ourselves to the LORD. He is true and faithful to His promises and as we delight to do His will, He will give us the desires of our hearts and that He will make it to pass. In His time. In His perfect time.
“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”
~Ecclesiastes 3:11
To God be the glory!
*Except if you have the gift of celibacy, but don’t worry, He gives enough grace to those who were given such. And that is still wonderful.
Disclaimer: This was first published at zenchronicles.art.blog powered by www.wordpress.com, May 19, 2019. This is now the official site of Zen Chronicles.
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